Archive for September, 2007
Frankenfish
Frankenfish rocked! It had many of the elements that I love!
1. Backwoods setting (Louisiana bayou)
2. Secret scientific coverup
3. giant marauding beasties
4. tough hunter type guy who gets his just desserts
5. smarmy guy who’s not so bad but also get his just desserts
6. bad dialogue
7. hippie pot smoking naked dude who has the most excellent decapitation [...]
Filed under: Creature Features | 5 Comments
Bone Snatchers
Bone Snatchers was beyond bad. Everything about the premise, characters’ actions, etc. was asinine. The pretend science behind the story was hilarious and made 24’s “whatever technology” seem plausible. The CGI was actually not bad, mostly.
The funniest part of it? At the end, as the camera sweeps over the Sahara desert, there’s a small sub-Saharan [...]
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Boa v. Python
Boa v. Python rocked. It actually made me laugh out loud in several junctures, particularly in the exciting conclusion where Boa and Python face off. The CGI is so incredibly poorly done that it made me squee in delight. The storytelling was preposterous, the acting horrendous and the romance between protagonists laughable. The idea that [...]
Filed under: Creature Features | 2 Comments
Raptor Island
Just the opening sequence makes this movie worth your time if you appreciate the genre. You will find yourself giggling madly and repeatedly rewinding the endangered plane in a storm, which is a wooden model held up by strings that you can actually see very clearly through the fake stormclouds. Let’s hear it for the [...]
Filed under: Creature Features | 5 Comments
Octopus
I was not very impressed with Octopus. Here’s what happened: some Russian sub was supposed to bring Castro several containers of toxic waste back in 1962. The sub got sunk and the toxic waste leaked out, somehow creating a very large and mean octopus that lived in the ocean for more than 40 years without [...]
Filed under: Creature Features | 2 Comments
Chupacabra
This review will suck, because I only kind of half-watched, half-slept and half-made out with my boyfriend while the movie was on. Basically, a chupacabra finds its way onto a cruise ship and proceeds to eat lots of people. They have to call in some really lame Navy SEALS who say things like “BooYA!!!” approximately [...]
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Magma! Volcanic Disaster
This one’s got the usual SciFi quality graphics, which were awesomely bad. In a nutshell, every volcano in the world is about to erupt all at one time, so the on-the-fringe scientist and his crack team of grad students have to find a way to stop the extinction of all life on the planet. To [...]
Filed under: Disaster Flicks | 0 Comments
Deep Freeze
I decided to watch Deep Freeze on a night when it was a thousand degrees here in Atlanta, and I hadn’t gotten my AC installed yet. I thought maybe watching a movie set in Antarctica might make me feel a little less hot and sweaty.
The basic premise here is that some oil drillers near the [...]
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King Cobra
You really can’t go wrong with a giant snake hybrid, created in a lab to be a cross between the African King Cobra and the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake. Especially when the aforementioned snake escapes from said lab and wreaks havoc in a small midwestern town.
I’ve seen some better, but I’ve sure seen a lot worse. [...]
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Meltdown: Days of Destruction
Days of Destruction tells the story of an asteriod. It could have hit the earth. It could have!!! But it didn’t. It went sailing right by. Unfortunately, it came close enough to push the earth’s orbit DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE SUN.
Temperatures soar and mayhem ensues. There are evil scientists with no conscience, looters in capes [...]
Filed under: Disaster Flicks | 0 Comments
