Eye of the Beast

03May08

Okay, i feel a little weird admitting this, but James Van Der Beek has turned out to be hot. I feel a bit like a dirty old woman because i was already in my late 20s and early 30s when i used to watch Dawson’s Creek and read TWoP’s reviews voraciously. I am still uncomfy with the idea that Katie Holmes has sex with Tom Cruise, but then again, it’s Tom, so i’m sure she still hasn’t.

i also feel a little strange writing this because i didn’t watch the whole movie. I was reviewing the SciFi listings today and was a bit upset that i missed Shark 3: Megalodon AND Octopus 2.  Fie!

Still, Dawson’s beard fascinated me. And his kind eyes. He really has kind eyes. I think that must be the blonde hair with brown eyes think. I always think folks with brown eyes have kind eyes. I don’t trust people with blue eyes.

There. I said it.

That confession is especially difficult having been raised in Minnesota with Lutherans. Garrison and i will work it out later.

Anyway, there’s not much to say. The premise is similar to Kraken, only without Jack Scalia desperately seeking an authentic accent. And this time the foxxy scientist is Dawson, not a chick. The law enforcement person is the chick, see Marabunta for the backstory on this idea.

There are native americans, who stand in for the sacrificial African Americans in this scenario. There are rednecks who hate them, which creates that whole racial discourse between native americans and white folks that i don’t see much down here in the South, but remember well from my days in the land of 10K lakes. ONly there’s no spear fishing.

Still, yet again, sea water creatures have adapted to fresh water and run amok. it’s sorta like the whole Japanese snakefish thing all over again, only with squid. And the whole time it goes on, i just can’t help thinking about batter and marinara sauce. So sue me.

The dialogue is weak, the filming is decent. the acting isn’t horrible. Dawson does a decent job here, overall. And it features Macs prominently (little geeky thumpy gang sign shout out to my man, Steve Jobs).

The sweaters are delicious.

I don’t recall a lot of northern minnesota freshwater fishermen sporting the thick cabled Land’s Endy sweaters you’d normally associate with Glowstermen or Irish Spring, but here they are. And they make even men with bad teeth look somewhat appealing.

Not much of a review, but hey, it’s a marauding squid. There’s really only so much you can say about that. I’d recommend it on an overcast day and it’s good filler for waiting for Beneath Loch Ness to come on, which is what i’m currently doing. That’s not to be confused with Beyond Loch Ness, which we’ve seen but not reviewed. I don’t think. Or maybe we have.

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