Archive for the 'Creature Features' Category
Komodo v. Cobra
Komodo v. Cobra embodies all that is wonderful about the SciFi Channel on any given Saturday night. The only thing missing was Lance Henriksen. Stars Jerri Manthey of “Survivor” bitch fame.
Really awful acting. An entire cast of actors that you know you’ve seen before somewhere but you’re just not sure where. Terrible CGI. Scantily clad foxxy [...]
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Eye of the Beast
Okay, i feel a little weird admitting this, but James Van Der Beek has turned out to be hot. I feel a bit like a dirty old woman because i was already in my late 20s and early 30s when i used to watch Dawson’s Creek and read TWoP’s reviews voraciously. I am still uncomfy [...]
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Ka-KURU!
You know, we have Alfred Hitchcock to blame for our fear of cornfields, farming communities and open spaces. I’m pretty sure that’s the main reason that Ames, Iowa is not a bustling metropolis now, instead of say, Charlotte, NC. I mention this only because, KAW! was a piss-poor re-interpretation of The Birds, only without the [...]
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Warbirds
This review will probably suck, because I wrote it and then it got lost in cyberspace so I have to do it again.
Anyway, here we go again with the plane crash on an uncharted island. Our crew of WWII sassy female Air Force pilots are escorting a handsome Colonel, his crew, and their SUPER TOP [...]
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Kraken Kills!
Well Maureen touched on most of the highlights of this movie, but i figured i’d throw in my two cents, which is basically all this movie is worth.
You know when a movie starts with a kid who survives a sea monster attack, the kid is going to grow up to go all Ahab on its [...]
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Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
I don’t think we reviewed Beyond Loch Ness, but this movie starts with the same premise: a boy is orphaned when his parents are hauled away by a crazy sea monster, and he grows up to be an adult looking for vengeance. That’s how he gets to be our valiant hero. I can’t remember the [...]
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Here is a special guest review from our friend IncognitoBurrito, since TJ and I are giant slackers and haven’t written a review in a thousand years. I could not find a movie poster for Rock Monster, so here is a picture of a different monster who also happens to be made of rocks, just so [...]
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Mega Snake
All right. Let’s just go ahead and get this out there. If you live in a small rural town, and you’re planning some big event, call it the hell off when someone comes to you with a warning about some crazy giant ferocious animal. For real. Just cancel it.
We begin this story with a child [...]
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Octopus 2: River of Fear
A drunk guy jumps into a boat, calming his worried girlfriend’s concern by saying, “Issssshhh ok, baby, nothin’s gonna happpppen!” But of course, something does happen. Getting drunk in one of these movies is almost as dangerous as taking off your top. Poor unsuspecting drunk dude and his innocent bystander girlfriend are snatched out of [...]
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Sorry about the image. it’s all i could find.
The bridge to nowhere. ANWAR drilling. Polar bears drowning. Untenable presidential candidates. Grizzly bears. These are the things that normally come to mind when you think of the issues facing Alaska residents. But, no, you would be wrong. REALLY what the biggest threat is….swarming South American [...]
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