Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
Crocodile 2: Death Swamp
This will be very brief.
Crocodile 2: Death Swamp was the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life. And I don’t mean it was a bad movie in the fantastic way of all of the other bad movies TJ and I write reviews for. They spent way too much time on stupid crap like backstory [...]
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100 Million B.C.
Oh yeah, you read it right. Not a couple of thousand years, not even a couple of million. ONE HUNDRED MILLION years B.C. Every time I say it I want to do the Dr. Evil pinky move.
All right, here’s the sitch. Apparently, during Dubya-Dubya-Two, there was some experimentation into stealth technology that led to the accidental [...]
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Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
If you have not seen Shark Attack 1 or 2, do not despair. You will not have missed out on any subtle plot twists or character development that will interfere with your enjoyment of Shark Attack 3. And I betcha the other 2 didn’t have the Megalodon in it, which means they probably both sucked [...]
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Ogre: Shrek meets The Village
i’m beginning to think that the SciFi channel has it out for eco-tourism.
There are one of three scenarios that will happen if a group of four young people head out into the woods for a day-long hike. The first one will be that they will be chased by a serial killer. But we don’t watch [...]
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Locusts: The 8th Plague
When the movie starts out with a quote from Revelations, you know there’s going to be some serious destruction.
Our hero is Dan Cortese, whose character’s name is Cole. Oh, yes, that’s right. Cole. He’s the inventor of a new organic pesticide, and also is skilled at flying helicopters and airplanes. His wife is our foxxy [...]
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Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness
I love it when they start out in ancient time. A gargoyle is being chased by an old-school lynch mob, with torches and pitchforks and everything. But the gargoyle is stuck by an arrow shot by a priest. He falls in a hole, and mob covers him up with a rock. That oughta do the [...]
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