Shark Attack 3: Megalodon


If you have not seen Shark Attack 1 or 2, do not despair. You will not have missed out on any subtle plot twists or character development that will interfere with your enjoyment of Shark Attack 3. And I betcha the other 2 didn’t have the Megalodon in it, which means they probably both sucked ass.

For those of you who are real live SciFi buffs, you’ll appreciate that our handsome save-the-day hero is the guy who plays Captain Jack on Torchwood. Except in this movie, he plays some kind of resort -related law enforcement officer and wears tight, highwaisted jeans. They may have even had a hint of acidwash. Our foxxy doctor scientist lady at first masquerades as a marine biologist so that it doesn’t seem like such a big deal that she’s so interested in the shark tooth that Captain Jack has found. But actually, she’s a paleontologist, and the shark isn’t just any old shark tooth. It’s the tooth of the MEGALODON!!

At first, this megalodon does not really seem all that mega. I mean, it’s a giant shark with lots of sharp teeth and it rips off people’s limbs and all. Of course, the resort bigwigs don’t want to make a big deal about there being a shark and scare off all the tourists, despite dire warnings from handsome hero AND foxxy doctor scientist lady.

But then. Just when they think they’ve got the shark situation under control, it becomes clear that we’ve been dealing with baby megalodon the whole time. We find this out when Megalodon Mamere shows up and swallows a boat whole. It’s probably the most rockin’ scene in the whole movie. I mean, except the part where our heroes are making out in the shower and it cuts to a beautiful sunset behind their silhouette. Class-say.

Not bad, as far as shark movies go.


6 Responses to “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon”

  1. 1 Jane

    I avoid paleontologists. I’m afraid they’ll all be like Ross on Friends. 🙂

  2. 2 Solace

    I’d watch it just for boat-swallowed-whole scene.

    Can you imagine the indigestion? *erp*

  3. 3 Becca

    So, um, what happened between the part where they were making out in the shower and the beautiful sunset?

    I’m baffled.

  4. 4 sarpon

    I like Ross. What’s wrong with Ross? They were on a break!

  5. 5 Rey

    There’s a great book on this very subject matter called “MEG: a Novel of Deep Terror” in which several boats get swallowed whole by a runaway megalodon!

    Until MEG hits the silver screen, I’ll be more than satisfied looking forward to seeing Shark Attack 3 … good highlights from a great review!

  6. 6 Incognitoburrito

    Personally, I just like saying “Megaladon”.

    meeeega-la- donnnn.

    See? Fun!

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